My Constant Companion

Relationships are defined, often, by the terms we use. “This is my…______” and the word that fills the blank tells us the relationship that they have with us. I have such a relationship that I term as an ‘acquaintance’. Funny, the time I spend with this ‘acquaintance’ would seem to indicate a closer relationship. I could not, nor could I ever, consider this relationship as a friendship. We can never be friends, though our relationship is ongoing and will do so.

This companion, my acquaintance, has many nicknames and goes by other names. He is called Smierc, Mrityu, and Thanatos in other countries, where he frequents, too. La Santa Muerta and San La Muerte are names used for him, too as well as his nicknames, ‘The Fourth Horseman of the Apocalypse’, ‘He who rides the Pale Horse’, and his much more common one, ‘The Grim Reaper’. If you haven’t figured out my ‘acquaintance’ he is commonly known as…Death. Now, you are thinking yourself, “Tony, Death is not a ‘somebody’.” I’m not so sure, even the Bible seems to personify ‘Death’. Revelation 6:8 (KJV) “And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts of the earth.”

The reason that Death and I have such a ‘close’ relationship is because of my occupation, my career. I am a funeral director, a mortician, or as formerly called, an undertaker. I stare into the face of Death often, but more often into the faces of those that have encountered Death. Death is often an unwelcomed guest (though there are times He is welcomed!). The homes that Death visits are never the same, they are forever changed and rearranged. Death leaves in its wake, sorrow, tears, and despair. I have seen the impact of Death’s visits more than many, and have had him visit my own family, too, as many of you have had, also.

Death is really the most unbiased ‘person’ I know. He cares not for race, gender, sexual preference, or age. Social and cultural designations mean little to him. No, Death is the least prejudice ‘person’ I’ve encountered. Death has no issues that seems to effect most of us-he could care less of your social standing, income, or awards you may have won. Death enters a home, unconcerned if it’s a ‘White’ house or ‘Black’. Death just does his deeds, and I’m one who is called soon after, to help the loved ones left, to cope somehow.

Can I just tell some of the places that Death visits, and the work I’ve seen him do. I’ve been to homes, hospitals, nursing homes, and coroner/medical examiners facilities to pick up the finished product of Death’s work. Again, Death is not discriminating, he knows no limits, which would guide most in the work that they may do. No, Death is consistent, he will deal with ALL at some point, no one has escaped his work. So, here are a few stories, a few instances of Death’s ‘work’.

She was 15, body racked by an unknown neuro-disease that had affected her just a year or so before. Her residence, brought about by her condition, was in the place the ‘old’ are placed. Death found her there, helpless, listless, nearly lifeless, and he pulled her life from her. As I entered the room, a sudden sense of awe and wonder overcame me. The walls were covered with cards, expressing, “get well soon” sentiments, birthday wishes, as well as Christmas, Easter, and other holiday remembrances. For the year since her ‘accident’, she knew of none of these ornaments that surrounded her. She required 24-hour care, unable to wipe her nose or bottom. She couldn’t feed herself, bathe, or really even breathe for herself. Her tiny body, now only about 50 pounds, was surrounded, on her bed, by stuffed animals, a myriad of colored pillows, and balloons. I questioned Death, “Why torture such a soul, could you have not ended this sooner?” But, as always, Death choose not to respond, his ways a mystery to me. To say that this young lady’s departure was a blessing, would be an overstatement. Her family grieved her loss, but the year leading to this point, had them grieving as much.

I entered the residence, having traversed a snowy covered mountain, for nearly a mile. Death had chosen to visit in the midst of a blizzard, snow totals reaching in the ‘feet’ measurements. Death took him as Vanna White turned a vowel, reclined in his recliner, life quickly leaving his aged body. Medical personal had come, declaring him flat-lined. My job, as the remover of the ‘dearly departed’, would be put to one of its greatest challenges. The family had picked a mountain location, a mile or so from a main road, to live out their final days, the departed now in his 80’s. Snow piled high as Death left the premises. As our 4-wheel-drive vehicle labored towards our goal, we soon realized our destination would be by foot, the last mile or so. He was still in his recliner, remote in hand, in the place his family said, “He loved sitting there watching ‘Wheel of Fortune’ every night.” Death saw fit to pull him from this world as Pat told the contestant, “Yes there are three ‘e’s’.”

Death knows no age limit, I’ve picked up the unborn, to someone 107. Death sometimes brings relief, a body racked by age, disease, and/or disabilities, loved ones looking for relief, even by Death’s touch. Often, it seems, Death is quite unwelcomed. He pulls a child from a mother’s arms, he stops a vibrant heart that beats with joy, or he destroys a family, one drunk driver out of control. Death is thankless, and I suspect he could care less. His job is to terminate the existence of all, as the Word said, Hebrews 9:27 (KJV) “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:” So we should live, as Paul, who said, Philippians 1:21 (KJV) “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”

#death #judgement #undertaker #funeraldirector