One gentleman, I know very well, often said, “you wish you could say what you want!” Though he wasn’t a pastor, his sentiment speaks to an aspect of certain occupations, such as pastor, where you can’t always speak your mind, at least not in EVERY situation. I was a pastor for over ten years and many times my tongue bleed from bite marks after encounters with members. It has been a decade or more since my last pastoral charge, so I’m pretty sure the ‘spiritual’ statute of limitations is expired or most will not realize of whom I am speaking, so let’s look at some things that drive pastors crazy and what they wish they could say.
These are things pastors everywhere wish they could tell someone, to their face, and not just to the sympathetic spouse or fellow pastor. I will not be able to include EVERY thing pastors would love to say, but I am trying to highlight the top ones, at least as I see them. Finally, I want to accomplish two things with this article. First, for the pastors out there; someone understands and I hope to give voice to your frustrations so you won’t have to worry about the repercussions. Secondarily, for those who are guilty, it needs said to them…STOP doing THAT! With that, let’s look at what I think pastors wish they could say.
“YOUR LOG IS HARD TO GET AROUND!”
Jesus said, Matthew 7:3 (NLT) “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” If you knew how many times someone has come to a pastor and said, something like, “Do you know what so-n-so is doing?” Or, “Pastor, I think you need to speak to Mr. ‘X’ about his issue, it is getting out of hand.” All these “specks” are often hindered by the “log” that is protruding out of the informant’s melon. Jesus was very graphic in His description here, and the humor is not lost on us. Sadly, the truth of what He addresses is not often heeded. Oh…believe me, a pastor would be dumb-founded if someone walked in his office and declared, “Brother, can you help me pull out this two-by-four out of my eye, I want to be very clear sighted and without hindrance in dealing with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.”
“YOU ARE NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT!”
Yeah, I have had a lot of candidates for the position of ‘Holy Spirit Patrol’ in churches I was pastor. Often they are well meaning, well…sometimes. It is the Holy Spirit’s work of convicting people, as Jesus said (speaking of the Holy Spirit), John 16:8 (CSBBible) “When he comes, he will convict the world about sin, righteousness, and judgment.” Too often we see Sister ‘Goody-two-shoes’ try to ‘help’ the Holy Spirit (often her husband’s sin, but I digress) do His work in others. I’ve often thought if there was a ‘Holy Spirit Patrol’ what kind of patch would you earn? The reality is no ONE (human) has ever been able to convict (yes, we are really good at condemning and shaming, but not convicting) another person. What a sight it would be if church members everywhere would pray for their pastors to preach and the Holy Spirit to convict. I’m pretty sure it would be more effective as James clearly teaches, James 5:16 (ASV) “Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The supplication of a righteous man availeth much in its working.”
“WE DON’T NEED A SEER…HERE!”
In the Old Testament, we read of seers, 1 Samuel 9:9 (KJV) “(Beforetime in Israel, when a man went to enquire of God, thus he spake, Come, and let us go to the seer: for he that is now called a Prophet was beforetime called a Seer.)” I’ve had a lot of applications for a ‘seer’ in the church. Sadly, many are active as we hear them tell of their accomplishments, “Pastor, I could have told you that was going to happen,” or, “if they would have listened to me this WOULD not have happened!” Of course, the modern Christian ‘seer’ doesn’t claim prophetic gifting. No, the modern ‘seer’ just has a way of looking back and showing how they knew what was best (as I have yet to meet a forward-looking seer, they have all been backward seers). It would be the day a ‘seer’ approached their pastor and said, “Pastor, I am sure glad you didn’t come to me for advice, I probably would have steered us in the wrong direction.”
“BROTHER (of course could be SISTER) YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO THE CHURCH IS BEST SERVED BY YOU NOT BEING HERE!”
The Bible clearly teaches that attendance of church is greatly encouraged, if not commanded, Hebrews 10:25 (CSBBible) “not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.” The key to this passage is “encouraging each other.” Sadly, there are some in the congregation that are ‘Negative-Naysayers’ and are only good for stirring up dissention and animosity. Many a pastor that laments the person that stays home and doesn’t participate in the church’s activities, but…in reality, there are a few that pastors wished didn’t need to ATTEND so often…!
“YEAH, I KNOW YOU ARE OUR BIGGEST FINANCIAL BACKER, BUT I WISH YOU’D TAKE YOUR MONEY DOWN TO THE OTHER CHURCH, ACROSS TOWN!”
This may be the stickiest one of them all. Most pastors are unaware of the giving in the church (by individuals), as it is handled by others. It is not hard to imagine that a pastor would know the ‘big-givers’, as they will surely let everyone know who they are. Money is one of those issues that churches must deal with, like any organization that relies on donors, if the money stops, the work of the church does. Pastors often feel pressure when donations are down, and sadly many will use their ‘tithes’ as a weapon, to punish the church (and pastor) when they don’t get their way. Many a pastor would love to beat ‘wealthy’ donors, the ones that hold it over the church and pastors head, with, Matthew 6:24 (NLT) “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”
CONCLUSION
Please don’t misunderstand the point of this article. Pastors have a right to complain about things people do in churches, and they often don’t. Believe me, there is a pastor right now seeking God’s face for the mess some church member has created and he wishes he could say what he wanted to say. Most members are good and a blessing to have, as a former pastor I look back, fondly, on many that I was privileged to serve. Yet…there are those exceptions that try the patience of Job…and their pastor.