CHURCH PET PEEVES

Do you have pet-peeves? Most everyone does. I wanted to lighten up the mood a little today and talk about some CHURCH pet-peeves and let you have a smile in your day. I thought the best way to do it was to do a top ten (apologies to David Letterman). So without further delay my top ten Church/Christian people PET-PEEVES:

1)LOUD TALKING-QUIET PRAY-ERS-you know the type. They have the big mouth outside church and even in church sometimes. But let someone call on them to open or close a service and suddenly they are as quiet as a ‘church mouse’. Your straining for everything within you to hear so you know when you to say ‘AMEN’.

2)MS./MR. OUT OF TUNE SINGER-SINGING LOUDER THAN ANYONE-yeah I know, make a ‘joyful noise to the Lord’ and I’m sure that joyful is the qualifying word here. But, I’m not complaining about those who can’t sing, singing, no I’m talking about the ones who can’t sing trying to drown everyone else out in the choir or even in the congregation.

3)PEW SQUATTERS-these are those people who have designated their spot in the church. They will have a cushion or their bible in the seat. I’ve even seen some who put a sweater or jacket in their ‘spot’ so that no one takes it. Come on people, move a little!!!

4)BUILDING WORSHIPPERS-these are the folks who have come to the conclusion that the building that we meet in is more important that what we do in it. I’m not critical of care for the building, you know cleaning it and such, but come on, it is just a building and not the ‘House of God’.

5)DEVIL/SATAN TESTIMONY BRAGGERS-yeah I’ve heard it since I was a kid, people bragging on the devil more than God. We hear it all the time ‘Oh, the Ol’ devil had me good’. Well my advice, get the saddle and bridle off and maybe ol’ slew foot will quit riding you.

6)LONG STORY/TURNED EPIC PRAYER REQUEST GIVERS-yeah I know this one is going to make someone mad, but hey, they don’t even know they do it. This is the people telling you about little Susie’s situation but has to tell about the third cousins reaction and how the doctor had a cup of tea while explaining the results of the tests, givin by the girl that was related to Brother Ed, before she divorced his son…and on and on…oh yeah and the doctor had lemon in his tea.

7)THIS ONE THING YOU NEED/HAVE/ARE GETTING…in a sermon/lesson the speaker says, “the one greatest…” whatever it is that in his sermon/lesson at that moment he has decided that is most important/needful or whatever. God has so much for us and we try to reduce it down to one BIG THING!

8)PREACHERS WHO TAKE OFF ALL THEIR CLOTHES-well you know what I mean, not literally everything, but I’ve seen them take off their tie, jacket, unbutton their shirt, off comes the shoes, then the belt… oh my. Why wear a jacket, tie, etc. if you are going to just pull it off as soon as you get in the pulpit.

9)I’M HIP/OLD GUY YOUTH LEADER- this is the guy who is 50 and dresses like he is a teen or tries to fit in with the lingo and being ‘cool’. In my experience, the young people just need authentic not Brother Jones in skinny jeans..ugh.

10)BAD CHURCH SIGN REFERENCES-like ‘Many who seek God at the eleventh hour die at 10:30’ what in the world. Or, ‘Hell one way in and no way out” below that, it said ‘Welcome’, very inviting…or this one, ‘Church is like spinach, you hated it as a child but love it as an adult, TRY IT’ of course that does not take into account I still hate spinach…

SO THERE YOU GO…got any?

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