HOW SHOULD CHRISTIANS HANDLE GRAY AREAS IN LIFE?
- Sarah Beth Cole
- Sep 21, 2016
- 5 min read
(As a new feature of our BLOG, we hope to have guest writers, today is one of those times....
Sarah Beth Cole describes herself, "First and foremost, I am daughter of the King, saved from my sins by the grace of my Lord, Jesus. I am also wife to my sweet husband of almost 4 years, and mommy to my restless one year old boy and pregnant with another baby boy due in Spring, 2017. I just recently obtained my Bachelor's degree in Biblical Studies and Biblical Counseling. I desire to reach hurting people with the truth of the Scriptures at my blog: Broken & Contrite Hearts ." Please go check her BLOG out)
It would be so nice if life only handed us black and white choices. “This is right, that is wrong, simple as that.” But not every situation is that easy. Many people may try to say so or make it so, but that’s just not the case.
God made people to be complex, emotional beings. The differences in people’s personalities and internal struggles often produces big, sloppy messes that take patience and an extended process to clean up. Here are just a few examples of “gray area” situations Christians may face:
A loved one is an unrepentant alcoholic that is wreaking havoc on the family. The individual is torn between pressures from friends and family to cut all ties with his loved one and Scriptures telling followers to be merciful and compassionate.
A parent has a ten-year-old son wanting to watch PG-13 movies. The individual is afraid that if he allows him to watch one decent PG-13, he’ll be opening a can of worms with his son using that as a reason to watch any kind of PG-13 movie. Yet he also doesn’t want to be legalistic and push his child to rebel.
A Christian couple are dating and struggle with getting themselves into situations where they give into sexual temptations. They are both torn between her parents, who are pushing them to get married, and his parents, who are pushing them to break up.
A married Christian couple has a teenager who has announced he is transgender and refuses to listen to their instruction about the Scripture’s words of God’s design of man and woman. Their pastor is advising them to kick their child out of the house but they are afraid that will only push their child deeper into his sin.
The number of “gray area” situations Christians face everyday are countless. In such instances, instead of thinking in terms of “right” and “wrong,” Christians need to think in terms of “foolishness” versus “wisdom.” Do not misunderstand me: sin is sin is sin. When a person is living in sin, he is clearly in the wrong. And when a person is obeying God and living righteously, he is clearly in the right. But for those gray areas where there is no clear “right” answer, we need to tap into the wisdom that God promises to give to those who ask (James 1:5). So how are we to walk in wisdom when life hands us something that the Bible does not give a clear cut answer to?
1. PRAY, PRAY PRAY! This seems to be a common solution listed on many Christian blog posts, and I think there’s a reason for that: We forget to do it! We allow our thoughts to run our mind instead of the other way around. When we are not intentional about filling ours minds with prayer, we handle gray areas foolishly instead of with wisdom. We need to diligently and patiently seek the Lord’s wisdom in the situation and ask the Holy Spirit to lead our every move. Philippians 4:6 (ESV) "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
2. Seek Scriptures that appropriately apply to the situation
God gave us His Word for a reason: to use it! Besides seeing His holiness and His love for us in It, we see how to live a life that honors Him. Through It we learn how to apply wisdom to everyday life.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 (ESV) "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work."
3. Seek advice from a wiser, growing Christian It is important to be very picky who we seek advice from. Asking a foolish person’s guidance will result in a foolish tactic to handling the situation. Pray for discernment in who to ask for advice. When you are confident it is a wise and growing Christian, take to heart what he says. Test his words to ensure they line up with Scriptures. Proverbs 11:14 (NASB) "Where there is no guidance the people fall, But in abundance of counselors there is victory."
Other Passages Worth Consulting:
Proverbs 12:15 (ESV)
"The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But a wise man listens to advice."
Proverbs 1:7 (ESV)
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge;
Fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Micah 6:8 (ESV)
"He has told you, O man, what is good;
And what does the Lord require of you
But to do justice, and to love kindness,
And to walk humbly with your God?"
1 Thessalonians 5:12-22 (ESV)
"We ask you, brothers, to respect those who labor among you and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves. And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. See that no one repays anyone evil for evil, but always seek to do good to one another and to everyone. Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit. Do not despise prophecies, but test everything; hold fast what is good. Abstain from every form of evil."
In Conclusion
Ultimately, each situation is different. Different people, different problems, different solutions. The ultimate calling of the Christian life is to love God and love people (Matthew 22:37-39). So whatever the situation is, seek the solution that seems to be the most loving toward God and all the people involved in the problem. (Keep in mind that some expressions of godly love require more justice to be administered while others require more mercy to be shown. Ask for discernment.) Seek biblical wisdom in it through prayer, Scriptures, and godly advice.